The ultimate pleasure of holding back

When you are injured deep inside you do not expect Greeks to send you gifts. And, for sure, the Greeks won't blame you for that.
You may disappear with the first knock on your door. I can't blame you for sure, not being Greek, but being just like you. Yep. Don't be astonished like that. That's why I could see you, because, in one mean or another, I can look to myself.
But you know what? Being like you didn't stop me to knock your door. After many years I discovered that you may sheltering yourself by escaping and holding back, but you gonna miss the best parts of our mean life. We are here. No one asked us weather to be here or not, yes. But we are here, forced to live. I don't like people whom suicide. I may pity them but I don't like that. No one deserves to receive such nasty feeling. I don't like escaping. I like you to have your only real option and live. Live with every single bean in your soul. That's why I knocked your door. I can't let myself dropping in your life like that (maybe you want me to, deep inside you want me to), I'll shoot my last bullet then I'll leave. I'll lay under a tree asking myself why I let you go. I may answer myself "Cuz I treasure her life so".